First I dreamed that I was trying to talk to my ex-boyfriend. It’s a repeat of a dream I used to have a lot about a year, year and a half ago. He denied and downplayed everything. But this time I had a breakthrough. “You’re Hugo Schwyzer,” I told him. Meaning: Fuck you, you’re Hugo Schwyzer.* I told him that if he actually tried to become Hugo Schwyzer, I would destroy him.
And then the dream shifted, and I was on the phone with J.K. Simmons, pitching my novel. He really liked it! “This sounds great,” he said. “It sounds like that new horse novel** that’s getting all the awards.”
And I woke up confident and excited and needing to write write write, a feeling I haven’t had in a long time. Something switched in me.
I mean, who are you going to listen to? Hugo Schwyzer, or J.K. Simmons?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
*Hugo Schwyzer is a piece of shit “feminist” “writer” who’s not worth anyone’s time. He gets published and Taken Seriously on mainstream white feminist sites like Jezebel because omg a male feminist how RADICAL, but he has a long history of abusing women (which he talks about! how BRAVE!) and being racist and just generally being really gross overall. Whatever, you can google him, but a better use of your time is to just avoid the shit out of anything by Hugo Schwyzer.
**The Yonahlossee Riding Camp for Girls, by Anton DiSclafani. I haven’t read it yet, but it fills me with alumna pride.